Pain

Once i fall in love with my best friend
I don't know when and how did it all happened. All i know is i loved him since the day we've meet.Inspite of the things had happened,inspite of the pains and heartaches i still care for him. It's hard to accept that it's over. And it's not easy to lose the person you love. All of us are looking forward to a lasting relationship,ofcourse you do not want to end that relationship because you simply don't want to lose the person you love most.But what if that person wasn't really meant for you?

I thought i was so stupid for loving him though it's over,for showing i still care inspite of everything he did to me,inspite of the pain he made me felt.I can still remember the time when i told him before that i will never give up our relationship and i'll fight for it. But i realize that it is not that easy,it's just that how would you fight for that love if the one you're fighting for give it up already? How can you fight for him if he doesn't love you anymore?

From the very beginning i know that this will only hurt me,but i still go on and hoped that it will be fine,hoped to have a happy ending relationship just like those fairytale love stories in the book ,an unconditional love as what they call it.,.but that was before because i came to realize that there's no such thing in this world,we can't get everything we want.It's all or nothing,if he loves somebody else i will be happy to set him free. knowing that he is enough for me. Yes
I cried nights and nights,found myself awake so late trying to figure out why it has to happen,why do i have to cry like what i did because of you,why do i have to got badly hurt this much??? Maybe because it is what it takes to love someone???

Nsabi ko sayo, sa lahat ng malapit sa akin at sarili ko na pinagsisihan kong ikaw ang minahal ko,kung bakit sunod-sunuran ako sa nararamdaman ko.Actually hindi ei,.,hindi ko pinagsisihang nagmahal ako,at ikaw ang minahal ko.I don't know why nor how,mahirap ipaliwanag pero yan ang nararamdaman ko.Through words maybe i fool everybody but i really can't fool myself.Galit ako sayo! ni ayaw kong marinig pangalan mo,lahat ng ala-ala mo nawala lahat sa isip ko.Nag isip ako ng masama sayo,i have told my friends how bad and conscienceless you are.But this is because i'm so mad at you,dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman ko.

Well,everybody made a mistake ika nga. You made mistakes and so do i.Mistakes that brought our relationship to an end.And it did breaks me a lot.Akala ko hindi ko kakayanin,i thought i can't stand no more mula sa pagkakamali kong iyon.But i really tried everything.I've tried my best to understand you,to be on your shoe.

Now i am not that mad at you anymore,ofcourse it ididn't appear to me like magic!it came to me gradually. I figured it out na it's not only your fault anyway,i have my own faults also.Maybe it's time to accept na siguro we're really not meant for each other. Isang pagkakamali lang ang relasyon na yon and so we have to learn from our mistakes.

Also,i do believe na lahat ng bagay happnes for a reason and i have accepted whatever reason lies behind it.Though i really don't want to let you go but everything says that i have to.

Don't worry,Naiintindihan na kita,naiintindihan ko na lahat.